Hey Asshole! I'm Pissed, Asshole!

Hi there, asshole.

Boy am I pissed the fart off!

I woke up angry, and I'm gonna' do something about it. Haven't decided what, yet. Went to the fridge to get an egg. There's no god damned eggs in there. That made me angry and I punched the fridge and broke my god damn hand, right in the middle of it. There's a bone sticking out. Fucking Obama!

I got this smelly dog rotting in my trailer, and I can't get it out of here. It's too gooey to pick up in one piece. I keep looking at it and wondering what to do, but there's nothing comes to mind. Maybe it will melt into the floor soon through the floor boards. There's worms and ants crawling around in my dog. Maybe they'll take care of it. Somavabitchin Obama!

Found a spot on my penis that I don't know what it is. I picked at it, and now it's bleeding. Broke my hand, got a spot on my penis, and my dog's rotting. Obama!

I gotta do something or my anger may just get to where it makes everything all screwed up, and that's when trouble starts. I gotta go shoot something, get an egg, find a band-aid for my penis, and immobolize my hand so it don't heal backwards. Fucking Obama!

I gotta get a UFO. There's no doubt about it. Think of all the stuff I could do on a UFO. That may be the only way out of here. Hey, I made myself laugh. I threw the ball at the dog and it broke through and now it's in my dog's stomach.

That's the funniest thing you could ever see, if your dog was like my dog.


-- Wacky Macky

Hey Asshole, I've Been Drinking Steel Reserve...

Hey Asshole,

I been drinking about all day so I'm guessing I may only make sense to myself right now over here. But I got to put down what I'm thinkin' when I get to drinkin'.

And here's what I'm thinkin'. I watch a lot of Star Trek. And I'm thinkin' Sarah Palin looks just like Captain Janaway with her hair all up in a bun like that. And it ain't a stretch to picture Mr. Tuvok, the Vulcan, looking like Obama.

You know what? I say fuck it. Let's get 'em together and have 'em run the space ship. She could say, "Fire, Mr. Tuvok," and he could press the red button and nuke all the sombitches that are fucking with the USA! Weeeeehoooo the fuck WEEE! That's the way. Why not. They had a Chinese Jap on the first Trek with that gay Sulu what the fuck's his name anyway. Now he's working for Howard Stern. Liberal commie prick jew.

So then McCain, 'cause he's older than the dirt in my drawers, he could be like Captain Kirk from the first bunch of Star Treks, and he could kick that fag Sulu outta there. Gotta' throw out Uhura too 'cause she's too dark to work the radio. Kick her off, and then we got something there.

I tell ya', Steel Reserve makes me want to put us all together for a common cause and kill them people that ain't like us with a nuklar bomb from our space ship with Commander McCain, Captain Palin, and Janitor Obama, who'll have to come in after we get done and clean up our mess.


-- Wacky Macky