Hey Asshole! Remember I was tellin' you about the tooth growing out of the center of my mouth roof? Well I got good and drunk on Turkey so I wouldn't get infected and to try and kill all the pain I was gonna' make for myself.
Then I got some pointy pliers to yank out that tooth that wasn't supposed to grow there. Turns out it weren't no tooth. Doctor told me it was a freak thing where my mouth roof (he calls it a hard palate) had got to growin' through my skin there and I ended up pullin' out some of the top of my mouth and a little bit of the insides there. Doc said I ripped out most of my (inferior nasal concha).
I said, "Doc, if it's inferior, can't you put in a new one?"
So I guess that's what they're gonna' try and do. Anyhow, I got my mouth sowed up and glued. When I talk, blood comes out and I see myself in the mirror and it looks like this horror movie I seen once, and I laugh and more blood comes out, and I can't stop laughin' and bleedin.
So that's where it's at, asshole. Check with your Doc before you go yanking on stuff you don't know what it is. That's the learnin' I got from this deal.
-- Wacky Macky
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Hey Asshole! Something's Going On with my Mouth!
Hey Asshole!
I was rooting around in my mouth this morning and there's a tooth growing from the center of my mouth roof.
Right in the middle there. What the fuck is that?
I don't think a tooth is supposed to go there.
Now I'm wonderin' if I need to pull it outta' there with the pliers, or will it make it easier to chew and so I keep it? This here problem is gonna' have me working on it all day.
I'll let you know if I pull it out or not, asshole.
-- Wacky Macky
P.S. I got my laundry done and the dog pissed on it. Now I gotta' do it all over again. I shot that dog.
I was rooting around in my mouth this morning and there's a tooth growing from the center of my mouth roof.
Right in the middle there. What the fuck is that?
I don't think a tooth is supposed to go there.
Now I'm wonderin' if I need to pull it outta' there with the pliers, or will it make it easier to chew and so I keep it? This here problem is gonna' have me working on it all day.
I'll let you know if I pull it out or not, asshole.
-- Wacky Macky
P.S. I got my laundry done and the dog pissed on it. Now I gotta' do it all over again. I shot that dog.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Hey Asshole! It's Wacky Macky's Fine Dining Recipes
Hey Asshole.
Just got done watching the debate between Barrack Hussein and my man, McCain. McCain won it good and hard. Hussein looked like a racoon in the headlights, which brings me to fine dining.
See, I'm country. I'm all about a good dinner. And I know how to make it, too, because I learned you gotta' cook stuff to kill bacteria or you'll get the stinging runs for a week or so. That's how you spoil yer' pants.
So here's you some recipies right outta Wacky Macky's kitchen you can try at home.
Possum:
Get a possum off the road. Put it in a pan with some lard. When it's smoking, let it cool a little bit and then pick off yer meat and dip it in the Publix Salsa sauce. Make sure you pull out the hair first. Good!
Racoon:
Get a Racoon off the road. Put it in a pan with some lard. When it's smoking, let it cool a little bit and then pick off yer meat and dip it in Publix Salsa sauce. Make sure you pull out the hair first. Good!
Skunk:
Get a skunk off the road. Put it in a pan with some lard. When it's smoking, let it cool a little bit and then pick off yer meat and dip it in Publix Salsa sauce. Make sure you pull out the hair first. Good! Save the stink sack for the end. That there's what they call a delicacy.
Squirrel:
Get a squirrel off the road. Put it in a pan with some lard. When it's smoking, let it cool a little bit and then pick off yer meat and dip it in Publix Salsa sauce. Make sure you pull out the hair first. Not much meat on 'em, but who give's a rat's ass.
Rat:
Get a rat off the road. Put it in a pan with some lard. When it's smoking, let it cool a little bit and then pick off yer meat and dip it in Publix Salsa sauce. Make sure you pull out the hair first. Eat the ass last. Makes for a funny time at the table. "Look, dumbass, I ate rat ass!" Fucking helarious. Not much meat on 'em, but who gives a shit.
Poop:
You can cook yer' own poop in a pinch. If a nuklar bomb went off and you were lucky enough to survive and all the animals are dead but fer you, there's not much else to eat except your own poop. You could eat your arms, but then how are you gonna' get your poop? But you can't just eat it outta' your own asshole. How you gonna' bend down there to get it? If you could do that, why wouldn't you? Nope. You gotta' scoop it outta there and put it in a hot pan with some lard. A little salt and pepper, and believe me, it'll fill you up good. Always has, always will. Better get ready to use this here poop recipe, because if Obama Hussien gets in there, Nuklar war! And then you gotta' eat yer' poop.
I may vote the Nader ticket.
-- Wacky Macky
Just got done watching the debate between Barrack Hussein and my man, McCain. McCain won it good and hard. Hussein looked like a racoon in the headlights, which brings me to fine dining.
See, I'm country. I'm all about a good dinner. And I know how to make it, too, because I learned you gotta' cook stuff to kill bacteria or you'll get the stinging runs for a week or so. That's how you spoil yer' pants.
So here's you some recipies right outta Wacky Macky's kitchen you can try at home.
Possum:
Get a possum off the road. Put it in a pan with some lard. When it's smoking, let it cool a little bit and then pick off yer meat and dip it in the Publix Salsa sauce. Make sure you pull out the hair first. Good!
Racoon:
Get a Racoon off the road. Put it in a pan with some lard. When it's smoking, let it cool a little bit and then pick off yer meat and dip it in Publix Salsa sauce. Make sure you pull out the hair first. Good!
Skunk:
Get a skunk off the road. Put it in a pan with some lard. When it's smoking, let it cool a little bit and then pick off yer meat and dip it in Publix Salsa sauce. Make sure you pull out the hair first. Good! Save the stink sack for the end. That there's what they call a delicacy.
Squirrel:
Get a squirrel off the road. Put it in a pan with some lard. When it's smoking, let it cool a little bit and then pick off yer meat and dip it in Publix Salsa sauce. Make sure you pull out the hair first. Not much meat on 'em, but who give's a rat's ass.
Rat:
Get a rat off the road. Put it in a pan with some lard. When it's smoking, let it cool a little bit and then pick off yer meat and dip it in Publix Salsa sauce. Make sure you pull out the hair first. Eat the ass last. Makes for a funny time at the table. "Look, dumbass, I ate rat ass!" Fucking helarious. Not much meat on 'em, but who gives a shit.
Poop:
You can cook yer' own poop in a pinch. If a nuklar bomb went off and you were lucky enough to survive and all the animals are dead but fer you, there's not much else to eat except your own poop. You could eat your arms, but then how are you gonna' get your poop? But you can't just eat it outta' your own asshole. How you gonna' bend down there to get it? If you could do that, why wouldn't you? Nope. You gotta' scoop it outta there and put it in a hot pan with some lard. A little salt and pepper, and believe me, it'll fill you up good. Always has, always will. Better get ready to use this here poop recipe, because if Obama Hussien gets in there, Nuklar war! And then you gotta' eat yer' poop.
I may vote the Nader ticket.
-- Wacky Macky
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Hey Asshole! I Just Found Out Clay Aiken's a Fag!
Good holy Jesus, Mary and child!
Here I was runnin' my mouth about how I think queers need to have an island, and my favorite singer comes out in People Magazine holding his baby and tellin' America he's a poop pusher!
Same God Damned thing happened to my favorite singer, Liberace, and then again with my favorite singer, Elton John.
And it makes me wonder the logical scientific question. It it me liking these guys that's doing it to them? Am I liking them too much?
Sheep shit on a stick! If I'm a latent homo I'm going to have to rethink this fag deal.
I still ain't putting no man's pecker in my mouth. I don't care how trendy it gets.
No Clay! How'd you make that baby? I bet it was unnatural. Next they'll be telling me Michael Jackson's a queer too. Please, God! Don't make Michael Jackson a queer!
-- Wacky Macky
Here I was runnin' my mouth about how I think queers need to have an island, and my favorite singer comes out in People Magazine holding his baby and tellin' America he's a poop pusher!
Same God Damned thing happened to my favorite singer, Liberace, and then again with my favorite singer, Elton John.
And it makes me wonder the logical scientific question. It it me liking these guys that's doing it to them? Am I liking them too much?
Sheep shit on a stick! If I'm a latent homo I'm going to have to rethink this fag deal.
I still ain't putting no man's pecker in my mouth. I don't care how trendy it gets.
No Clay! How'd you make that baby? I bet it was unnatural. Next they'll be telling me Michael Jackson's a queer too. Please, God! Don't make Michael Jackson a queer!
-- Wacky Macky
Hey Asshole! I Got Some Fag Rules!
Hey Asshole.
We got to get a few things straight, and by straight, I mean not fag.
There's right and there's wrong. And if your not right, you're wrong. That there is some Wacky Macky wisdom, and it don't belong in a man's butt. Nothing should go in there unless it's handled by a doctor who ain't queer, or your wife.
So I got some fag rules to live by, just so the homos don't ever have to wonder why they're God's mistakes.
1. I can get with two woman, and there ain't nothing wrong with that. But two men on one woman, there's libel to be something touching that don't belong together. Two snakes in the grass never did nothing but fight it out. That's number one.
2. Old men looking at teen boys. That's wrong, and it's wrong all together. You go right to hell with that kind of lookin'. Now if'n a man's straight, and you know old Wacky Macky only sleeps with people what got a cooter and boobs, he got every right to look at a young purty girl of the ages of 12 and up, long as he don't touch one 'till they're legal, and in my trailer, that's when they got hair on the tangerine. Nothing wrong with that. That's healthy nature right there.
3. If a man teacher or minister is trying to get with a teen boy in class or church, he needs to be shot before he's electrocuted, gassed, and beat up. Now if it's a teen boy who's being fondled by a woman teacher or preacher, there's nothing wrong there at all. That's how learning gets done. Wish I was half them boys getting picked up by them hot blond sugar mamas. That's how I learnt and God put them women down hear to teach us men right so we have healthy babies. Everyone knows that.
4. Nothing in the poop shoot that's between men. Covered that in number one.
5. Don't be looking at my pecker in the rest room unless you're a lady teacher or preacher. If you don't have two melons and a snatch patch, keep your eyes on yorn and yorn alone. I can't pee when a man's looking at my billy-bob. And when I can't pee, I get riled.
6. I ain't saying I'm against queers, I'm just saying they shouldn't ever been born and if they was born, they need to be living on their own island. They could call it Buttpole Island or Hot Dog Island, or whatever the fucks goin' on with them weird fags. That's number six.
God Damn! I just shit my pants again. What the fuck am I eating here?
-- Wacky Macky
We got to get a few things straight, and by straight, I mean not fag.
There's right and there's wrong. And if your not right, you're wrong. That there is some Wacky Macky wisdom, and it don't belong in a man's butt. Nothing should go in there unless it's handled by a doctor who ain't queer, or your wife.
So I got some fag rules to live by, just so the homos don't ever have to wonder why they're God's mistakes.
1. I can get with two woman, and there ain't nothing wrong with that. But two men on one woman, there's libel to be something touching that don't belong together. Two snakes in the grass never did nothing but fight it out. That's number one.
2. Old men looking at teen boys. That's wrong, and it's wrong all together. You go right to hell with that kind of lookin'. Now if'n a man's straight, and you know old Wacky Macky only sleeps with people what got a cooter and boobs, he got every right to look at a young purty girl of the ages of 12 and up, long as he don't touch one 'till they're legal, and in my trailer, that's when they got hair on the tangerine. Nothing wrong with that. That's healthy nature right there.
3. If a man teacher or minister is trying to get with a teen boy in class or church, he needs to be shot before he's electrocuted, gassed, and beat up. Now if it's a teen boy who's being fondled by a woman teacher or preacher, there's nothing wrong there at all. That's how learning gets done. Wish I was half them boys getting picked up by them hot blond sugar mamas. That's how I learnt and God put them women down hear to teach us men right so we have healthy babies. Everyone knows that.
4. Nothing in the poop shoot that's between men. Covered that in number one.
5. Don't be looking at my pecker in the rest room unless you're a lady teacher or preacher. If you don't have two melons and a snatch patch, keep your eyes on yorn and yorn alone. I can't pee when a man's looking at my billy-bob. And when I can't pee, I get riled.
6. I ain't saying I'm against queers, I'm just saying they shouldn't ever been born and if they was born, they need to be living on their own island. They could call it Buttpole Island or Hot Dog Island, or whatever the fucks goin' on with them weird fags. That's number six.
God Damn! I just shit my pants again. What the fuck am I eating here?
-- Wacky Macky
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Hey Asshole! You Can Drink Yer Pee.
Hey Asshole.
I'm talking about water here. I know I said some mean things about science, but that's just for the dopes what don't understand it. I'm reading about water, how we're using it up and soon there won't be any water in California.
Hey Asshole! That's where the good water in bottles comes from. It ain't got no Government residue in it and they put it in a little plastic container so you can keep it around the house long enough to survive a nukalar war, and you know it's coming, asshole.
But you gotta' use yer head here and think about it scientifically, like I have. Okay, I'll lay it out for you. The world's got a protective shield around it called the zone-O, and it's in a layer. That keeps all the stuff here on Earth from floating out there and getting into the vacuum of space where it's gonna' die out there.
Now tell me this: how's the water gonna' get out of that zone-O? Ain't no fuckin' way. So if the water can't go nowhere, how we gonna' run out of it? See, that's just common sense. Then they say we're pollutin' it. Well, you get a filter for that and that'll take out all the pollution and the Government residue. There you are. Plenty for everyone.
Yeah, I read the dang article and it was saying about how some people don't have access to no good water. Mostly children and old ladies. Well I got some advice for those assholes. Hey ASSHOLE! You gotta' get outta' there. There ain't no good water. Get going and move where the good water is. What are you, some kind of dumb? It's just science and common sense.
Summing up here, basic bottom line is this. Water can't escape the zone-O and go in space, so we ain't running out of no water any time soon. Part two, if your water's polluted, you gotta' filter that shit. If you ain't got no filter, move to California.
What kind of an asshole doesn't know that?
All this talk is making me need to pee. You can drink that too if there ain't no water. It's good for you, asshole. That's how you survive in the dessert.
-- Wacky Macky
I'm talking about water here. I know I said some mean things about science, but that's just for the dopes what don't understand it. I'm reading about water, how we're using it up and soon there won't be any water in California.
Hey Asshole! That's where the good water in bottles comes from. It ain't got no Government residue in it and they put it in a little plastic container so you can keep it around the house long enough to survive a nukalar war, and you know it's coming, asshole.
But you gotta' use yer head here and think about it scientifically, like I have. Okay, I'll lay it out for you. The world's got a protective shield around it called the zone-O, and it's in a layer. That keeps all the stuff here on Earth from floating out there and getting into the vacuum of space where it's gonna' die out there.
Now tell me this: how's the water gonna' get out of that zone-O? Ain't no fuckin' way. So if the water can't go nowhere, how we gonna' run out of it? See, that's just common sense. Then they say we're pollutin' it. Well, you get a filter for that and that'll take out all the pollution and the Government residue. There you are. Plenty for everyone.
Yeah, I read the dang article and it was saying about how some people don't have access to no good water. Mostly children and old ladies. Well I got some advice for those assholes. Hey ASSHOLE! You gotta' get outta' there. There ain't no good water. Get going and move where the good water is. What are you, some kind of dumb? It's just science and common sense.
Summing up here, basic bottom line is this. Water can't escape the zone-O and go in space, so we ain't running out of no water any time soon. Part two, if your water's polluted, you gotta' filter that shit. If you ain't got no filter, move to California.
What kind of an asshole doesn't know that?
All this talk is making me need to pee. You can drink that too if there ain't no water. It's good for you, asshole. That's how you survive in the dessert.
-- Wacky Macky
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Hey Asshole! I'm Healthy!
Hey Asshole!
I was sitting her thinking about how I never get sick, unless I'm puking beer. No colds, no flu, no warts and fungus. And then I come across this article here that tells the truth. And I knew it all along 'cause I've been doing it every day since I can remember. And what I'm talking about is picking the boogers out of my nose and eating 'em.
So I'm reading how this doctor says I'm right! I was right all along. Didn't need no doctor to tell me so. Hey Asshole! You hear me? I put my finger up in there, root around for a ripe one, pull that sucker out and eat.
No colds, no flu, no warts and fungus.
Never go to the doctor or the hospital, 'cause that's where the sick people go.
I ain't sick! I'm eating boogers!
-- Wacky Macky
P.S.
Hey Asshole! Here's what I read on my machine. You'd be wise to eat yorn too!
--------------------------------------------
Doctor Backs Picking Your Nose And Eating It
Picking your nose and eating it is one of the best ways to stay healthy, according to a top Austrian doctor.
Innsbruck-based lung specialist Prof Dr Friedrich Bischinger said people who pick their noses with their fingers were healthy, happier and probably better in tune with their bodies.
He says society should adopt a new approach to nose-picking and encourage children to take it up.
Dr Bischinger said: "With the finger you can get to places you just can't reach with a handkerchief, keeping your nose far cleaner.
"And eating the dry remains of what you pull out is a great way of strengthening the body's immune system.
"Medically it makes great sense and is a perfectly natural thing to do. In terms of the immune system the nose is a filter in which a great deal of bacteria are collected, and when this mixture arrives in the intestines it works just like a medicine.
"Modern medicine is constantly trying to do the same thing through far more complicated methods, people who pick their nose and eat it get a natural boost to their immune system for free. "
He pointed out that children happily pick their noses, yet by the time they have become adults they have stopped under pressure from a society that has branded it disgusting and anti social.
He said: "I would recommend a new approach where children are encouraged to pick their nose. It is a completely natural response and medically a good idea as well."
And he pointed out that if anyone was really worried about what their neighbour was thinking, they could still enjoy picking their nose in private if they still wanted to get the benefits it offered.
I was sitting her thinking about how I never get sick, unless I'm puking beer. No colds, no flu, no warts and fungus. And then I come across this article here that tells the truth. And I knew it all along 'cause I've been doing it every day since I can remember. And what I'm talking about is picking the boogers out of my nose and eating 'em.
So I'm reading how this doctor says I'm right! I was right all along. Didn't need no doctor to tell me so. Hey Asshole! You hear me? I put my finger up in there, root around for a ripe one, pull that sucker out and eat.
No colds, no flu, no warts and fungus.
Never go to the doctor or the hospital, 'cause that's where the sick people go.
I ain't sick! I'm eating boogers!
-- Wacky Macky
P.S.
Hey Asshole! Here's what I read on my machine. You'd be wise to eat yorn too!
--------------------------------------------
Doctor Backs Picking Your Nose And Eating It
Picking your nose and eating it is one of the best ways to stay healthy, according to a top Austrian doctor.
Innsbruck-based lung specialist Prof Dr Friedrich Bischinger said people who pick their noses with their fingers were healthy, happier and probably better in tune with their bodies.
He says society should adopt a new approach to nose-picking and encourage children to take it up.
Dr Bischinger said: "With the finger you can get to places you just can't reach with a handkerchief, keeping your nose far cleaner.
"And eating the dry remains of what you pull out is a great way of strengthening the body's immune system.
"Medically it makes great sense and is a perfectly natural thing to do. In terms of the immune system the nose is a filter in which a great deal of bacteria are collected, and when this mixture arrives in the intestines it works just like a medicine.
"Modern medicine is constantly trying to do the same thing through far more complicated methods, people who pick their nose and eat it get a natural boost to their immune system for free. "
He pointed out that children happily pick their noses, yet by the time they have become adults they have stopped under pressure from a society that has branded it disgusting and anti social.
He said: "I would recommend a new approach where children are encouraged to pick their nose. It is a completely natural response and medically a good idea as well."
And he pointed out that if anyone was really worried about what their neighbour was thinking, they could still enjoy picking their nose in private if they still wanted to get the benefits it offered.
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