I gotta' go with my country, even though they called black.
So how do I get with it? Here's ol' Wacky Macky's guide to how to be right with the country when we got a black in the White House.
Wacky Macky's Guide to Fittin' In in the New America!:
#1. Gotta' drop my pants below the waist. That's an easy one. I do that anyway so people can see my crack.
#2. Got to get some crack. Covered that in #1.
#3. Need to fix up my lingo. There's things to say proper now that the President's gonna' be black. Here's some phrases to help out:
a. Lemmie hold a dime. (Don't say borrow, say hold. That's the black way.)
b. I'm zizzle with the zazzle, mofo. (Learnt that off'n television.)
c. Sup. (That means, hi there, how you doing?)
l. Homie, you need to chill, bitch. (Say that when someone's trying to fight.)
r. Blingo. (That's fancy for lingo.)
I gotta say I'm gonna miss Sarah Palin. We could have shot road kill together. I could have shared my Possum recipe. She could have hunkered down on my pecker on occasion. I coulda shit in her hair. I'm a fucking wack job, you know. I'll shit in a girl's hair, not a problem. I mean, if she's into it and all. I'm not gonna tell you I'll shit in a girl's hair if she's against it. That's just fucking wrong.
And McCain? Well what can I say? He sure fucked up his chances electing Sarah Palin. He looked like her grandfather, and now that's just sick to think about. Who wants to see them two fuckin? If she had a baby by McCain, I'd name it Putty, to match with them other names she gave her kids. What was it? Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow... fucking hippie if you ask me. I hate hippies. They smell like patchouli and underarms. So it would be Track, Trigger, Bristol, Willow, and McCain's baby, Putty. Putty Palin. I like how that sounds.
Anyway, good luck President Obama. I didn't vote for you but I'll stand behind you, just the way we whites always stood behind blacks in our nation's most trying times... and I'm talking times of war when the enemy was shooting at us. Y'all made good cover.
-- Wacky Macky