Hi there, asshole.
Boy am I pissed the fart off!
I woke up angry, and I'm gonna' do something about it. Haven't decided what, yet. Went to the fridge to get an egg. There's no god damned eggs in there. That made me angry and I punched the fridge and broke my god damn hand, right in the middle of it. There's a bone sticking out. Fucking Obama!
I got this smelly dog rotting in my trailer, and I can't get it out of here. It's too gooey to pick up in one piece. I keep looking at it and wondering what to do, but there's nothing comes to mind. Maybe it will melt into the floor soon through the floor boards. There's worms and ants crawling around in my dog. Maybe they'll take care of it. Somavabitchin Obama!
Found a spot on my penis that I don't know what it is. I picked at it, and now it's bleeding. Broke my hand, got a spot on my penis, and my dog's rotting. Obama!
I gotta do something or my anger may just get to where it makes everything all screwed up, and that's when trouble starts. I gotta go shoot something, get an egg, find a band-aid for my penis, and immobolize my hand so it don't heal backwards. Fucking Obama!
I gotta get a UFO. There's no doubt about it. Think of all the stuff I could do on a UFO. That may be the only way out of here. Hey, I made myself laugh. I threw the ball at the dog and it broke through and now it's in my dog's stomach.
That's the funniest thing you could ever see, if your dog was like my dog.
-- Wacky Macky